Man-Animal War: German Cow Destroys City for Unborn Child

Seeking a world free from human oppression, a pregnant cow from Hanover, Germany escaped from his farm and went on a three-hour rampage through the streets causing over $33,000 in damage. The farmer, news media crews and 30 police and fire fighters chased Uschi, the cow, through the streets, destroying cars, fences, benches and numerous other properties in what amounted to a five kilometer chase. Uschi was finally brought down by tranquilizer darts without risk to the unborn calf. Reuters reports.

As no one was hurt, it is clear that the cow's main objective was to destroy the infrastructure of civilization to make way for a true attack on humans. This is how wars are fought in the new millenium. The animals consider the objectives of the man-animal war to be urgent for future gnerations and, as such, they are looking to make an extreme impact on the machinations of human existence and war profiteering to leave a better world for their offspring. Uschi is now being hailed as the Samuel Adams of animal revolt. Beware.

And, for future reference, you, Germans: tranquilizers don't win wars.